| A dream |
[Mar. 1st, 2005|08:06 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | None - It's quiet around here | ] |
So I had a dream not too long ago... and I never really have dreams. Well it went something like this (not that you give a fuck or people even read this, but I like to vent).
I really liked this fantasy girl that we'll name Kayla, since that name is fresh on my mind. Well in this dream I wanted Kayla, like in a way I haven't felt since I first got a girlfriend. Which is really weird. But anyway I wanted Kayla pretty bad but she was with this other guy, and we all lived in some rich fancy place that looked a lot like The OC and Newport. I went up to her, while she was driving around the block and asked why she wasn't with me, she said she had someone else and that she was happy. I asked her if he made her happy the way I used to make her happy. She said no, but it was a different kind of happy. I asked if it was a better kind. She bowed her head, said I don't know, and drove off. The scene then panned to her going up to her boyfriend after much thought, and saying she can't do it anymore (sounds a lot like last weeks OC episode, I'm such a chick). Then it focused on us two. She held me by the shoulders and said to not ever take her for granted, and to never hurt her again. However, she never stated if we were together?
So here comes the "dream" part aside from the oddly located setup. A lot of people were turning into other people, a disguise perhaps, and they were all over the place. It was a full moon, a gorgeous moon, and everyone was in the streets pretending to be someone else. Kayla was at home, trying to sleep at the time. I disguised myself as Raphael (why the fuck couldn't I pick a better name.. like Lance Drake, or maybe Tidus from FFX, but noooo). I went to her house, and as she was kicking people out I commented to her on how annoying those people can be sometimes, she agreed with a smile, and did a double take on me. As she was about to ask me to leave, I went up to her and held her by the shoulders as comfortly as I could. I told her that the moon was beautiful, I told her that she was beautiful, and I told her to give me a chance on what could be. It ended there, the look in her eyes were similar to something you would see on an anime... big, teary, and gorgeous. She was smiling and I was smiling, but there it ended. No definate answer. She could have been tearing up because she was about to decline, or maybe the fact she was extremely happy and about to accept. I guess I will never know huh? Which brings me to my new point.
FUCKING CONTACTS! I left them in and they bothered me so they woke me the fuck up. Gah... Anyway that's my dream and I guess I'm sticking to it. |
|
|
| Final Fantasy X |
[Feb. 9th, 2005|01:09 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Killers - Mr Brightside | ] |
I started up FFX the other day... and I think I'm going to skip classes tomorrow because I can. I skipped this whole week so far. Time to bust out the fake sick note for friday.
What else can I say, considering its been forever...
I guess, I'm doing good. I know all of you wanted to know that.
It started out with a kiss, how'd it end up like this.. it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.... |
|
|
| Wrote this |
[Aug. 22nd, 2004|07:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Thursday - Signals over the Air | ] |
I wrote this today, a bit from yesterday too. Anyway, I've never written anything like it before, so I figured I would... I dont like it because it says "saved" in it too many times, but oh well.
Redemption
My folded hands meet, in a chapel seat,
And my bowing head, is how I think,
Even in my sleep I pray,
For my sins and my hope,
They sit, They stand, and They kneel,
But I'm praying,
This is my time, for redemption,
My body sins, and God forgives,
But just how long, can this last...
Scream to these heavens,
Am I out of His, saving reach?
Maybe yes, maybe no,
I can't help, but question this or that,
But can I see,
Between my right,
Between my wrong,
I can't hear the chapel bell's ringing anymore...
Unfold my hands,
I lead my life to this same repeat,
Over and over, with no remorse,
Have I failed too much?
But I'm praying,
One day I'll be Bible happiness,
Know between my right and wrong,
And I'll be saved and never have to worry..
About my own death,
This prayer, my prayer,
I pray, because I'm losing faith,
And i'm trying to keep,
My own mind,
My own soul,
In this revision,
I can hear the chapel bells ringing...
Can I be saved?
Lord, can I be saved?
This is my redemption,
I fall asleep,
Asleep, with folded hands. |
|
|
| It can get worse, so I'd better shut up |
[Aug. 22nd, 2004|03:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | None | ] |
I dunno, these days seem to go by slowly, and with much pain and suffering. Now i'm starting to sound like Yoda, kinda creepy =/ I dont want to put my problems for everyone to see, well at least not at the moment... but the ones closest to me know, because it's their job to know and make me feel better :D.
Anyway, aside from all of the bad stuff... the good things... classes start tomorrow, and i'm ready for them. Well I know the good list is short, but I make with what I have. |
|
|
| OMGOMGOMGOMGZZZ |
[Aug. 11th, 2004|04:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sleep music in my dreams | ] |
Yeah ok I had a lot of fun in Canada.... fun doesnt do the trip justice, but anyway i'm about to head into town with a friend and I'm still tired (plane was delayed 8246 hours) so I'm going to nap even though I practically just woke up. There are a lot of stories to tell so i'll have to think of all of them and write about it later.
I guess in a way it seems bittersweet... the question of whether we like each other is answered, but the question of whether or not it will work still makes me feel sick when I think about it. Honestly I know she can, but I'm the one I'm worried about. I miss andi lots :(.. even though she ripped my contact.. yeah i'm STILL wearing only one.
Nonetheless, no regrets... thats the best thousand dollars i've ever spent, lol.
Btw, Andi you left out tons of stuff!! She totally just skimmed the entire trip, later on i'll write about what REALLY happened... SO many stories. Unless she gets to it first, cause she already said a lot of what I think. If she does i guess its better, since more people read her LJ anyway :). |
|
|
| Tomorrow... |
[Jul. 27th, 2004|11:55 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Shinedown - 45 | ] |
Tomorrow I'm going to Canada, so I probably wont make too many entries (like I do anyway) or replies for the 2 weeks that I'm up there. Hopefully I'll have pictures and stuff when I get back, for some reason I'm bad with cameras and I always lose them or something.
For everyone supporting me.. thanks, and for everyone opposed, fuck you :)
La la la
O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.... or something like that |
|
|
| This song is great... |
[Jul. 21st, 2004|11:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Slipknot - Duality | ] |
For some reason i'm just overly happy... I have no idea why, but I am! My shawnie is back from her trip, shes been gone awhile, and I missed her SO much. She's practically my best friend here, I think I'd die without her by my side. She said she had a great time and wishes she was back there, and that she's really attached to her friend's cousin, which is awesome because guys just keep screwing her over and she deserves so much better than what she's gotten in the past.
Anywho, 7 days to go, yes just one week!!! I cant wait... omg it's going to be amazing, I'm SO extremely happy... Can't wait to see Andi!! Oh ya and I heard Canada was pretty too :).
I have a few friends from Canada, like 20 or so... online, gonna see how many I can meet... lol Andi's gonna read this and be like wtf? But ya, they're all retarded gaming guys that I play games with sometimes. Anywho... i'm happy, ya and that's all. Tony just failed the drug test on NCAA College Football 2005 so i'm going to have to suspend him for 2 games, that dumbass!...
edit- ROFL... it wasnt drugs, it was academics... dumb shit :) |
|
|
| 2 weeks to go |
[Jul. 13th, 2004|07:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | I Love The 90s is in the background | ] |
So as most of you know, or perhaps you do not, i'm going to canada in about 2 weeks. Yep, 2 weeks until I see Andi. Most people are excited for me at the fact i'm meeting her (also seeing megan and justin i think) and then there are some that think it's a dumb idea, or just dont favor it. Some say it's dumb having a crush on a girl so far away... They ask, If you two start something, how will you two make it? They ask... How do you know you can trust her? They tell me... You do realize she lives so far away?
You just have to be in my place, i guess. If you've ever believed something really strongly (is that a word?)... like anything, the promise of a person, or your religion, it's a feeling sort of like that, like things between us will be good, no matter what comes of it.
It'll be fun, Canada will be fun, Andi will be fun, hopefully Megan and Justin will be fun, and... all I can think of is how perverted that might have just seemed to all reading this. Anyway, i'll take bunches of pics and post them on here if i learn how to put them on here :). I also plan on hitting on Andrea... lots... and lots... until she gives in to my seduction, which could take the whole 2 weeks i'm there.
Ciao, that is all- |
|
|
| Happy birthday! |
[Jul. 1st, 2004|06:31 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  groggy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Matchbox Twenty - Disease | ] |
To Val.... don't party too much mmk, I know you cant help it, but you know :p. Well you're older but still younger, I love you very much! I'll try calling you today, if I have any luck that is.
Mmk now to study for finals some more- |
|
|
| Finals are soon |
[Jun. 25th, 2004|07:41 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | None, besides the fan wizzing and computer humming | ] |
Well finals are soon... next week in fact. I think overall i'm going to do pretty damn good. I've been doing good so far, and I just need to tough it out for one more week :)
On a brighter note, I borrowed Tanner's Playstation 2... Now I can play Final Fantasy X-2... but I havent even played Final Fantasy X yet? I *HATE* going out of chronological order with games, it pisses me off, but oh well I guess i'll play it :p. Also I bought Bad Santa, which is pretty funny "Scream kid!" "ahh.." "See, hes a fucking faggot" :D!
Also I had a dream, and Andi was in it... And i met her, and she was super shy at first, but I took it as she didn't like me (which is totally not like me) and it was awkward. However, then things started getting better and more normal, and I woke up!? Damnit, ruining my dreams... and why did i wake up? Because I'm so used to school that I woke up at 7:00 AM in the damn morning, ya really sad. I had my AC on all night and froze as well... Of course, I shouldnt take that for granted, some of us do not enjoy the pleasure of an AC :) <3333 |
|
|
| Past weekends! |
[Jun. 18th, 2004|10:49 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Nirvana - Aneurysm | ] |
Come on over, do the twist,
Over-do it, have a fit,
Love you so much, makes me sick,
Come on over, do the twist!
The past weekends have been good, I havent updated because I'm a loser and study all the time only to receive a fucking 73 on my damn test, wtf!? Anyway, that'll be upped easily :) Umm i'm taking 6 hours worth of classes this summer semester and it lasts only one month, it's kinda like torture ... I go in from 8 through 12:30 from Monday-Thursday and I'm constantly studying for quizzes or tests, I never have enough time to talk to anyone, makes me mad... but it's almost over, so that's a plus.
Anyway, the past weekends I've been to Olney, it's a town about an hour and 45 minutes from here. I went to see my friend Emily that came down from chicago, my cousin Sean, and his best friend Ethan (who i made friends with). We did SO much stuff and it happened so fast I hardly remember what days we did everything on. BUT, we did hound Ethan about this cute girl named Devon that everyone knows has a thing for Ethan, and he claimed that him and her never did anything like fooled around (such a liar). So anyway everyone was on the drag and it started to rain so everyone went home or to a party or whatever... and Sean and I went back home and get this phone call. Well, it's Ethan, and he says hes stuck on a backroad somewhere... and then after the phone conversation Sean goes "...I dont think Ethan has a cell phone" (which he should, hes fucking rich... but technically you dont need one out here cause its like... i dunno small and you'd just have to live here to understand). So we laughed and said it could be Paige or Devon or April which are all the girls that are after him. Anyway we went out there and sure enough, Devon's little head popped up (no not up and down), shes really short lol. We all laughed at him... naturally... but the thing is, he didnt want that many people to know, which is fine and what not, but Devon called a guy to get him unstuck too and unfortunately that guy claimed he didnt have chains so called another guy and before you knew it like 7 people were out there.
Well that's my story, awesome huh? Not really. I'm suppose to do something with Brittanie today or tomorrow, but I havent been able to get ahold of her, so I might just leave with Kelly and Joey to go visit Natalie and Meagan (extra a, no typo) at their new house in Abilene. That or hell I just might stay here, and read the constitution lol, we're taking a final over it in my history class. I dunno what to do, but I knew I had to update this thing, it was getting waaaay due for one.
Oh right and 40 days, woot woot! YES I LIKE TO WOOT WOOT BITCHES, FUCK OFF :D!!!!!!! |
|
|
| Fuckathon... good word |
[Jun. 3rd, 2004|10:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Joan Jett - I Love Rock N' Roll | ] |
If there is someone on your friends list you would love to have an epic, sweaty, damn near legendary, 12 hour fuckathon with, post this same exact sentence in your journal. |
|
|
| Rip right through me... |
[Jun. 1st, 2004|09:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Blink 182 - Down | ] |
Well tomorrow I start classes for the summer semester. Honestly they were today, but I didnt know? So oh well, fuck it! Not like I missed anything on the first day anyway right...
This past weekend I got to see my cousin Sean graduate, it was pretty fun for the most part. I saw a bunch of people that I hadn't seen since Christmas/New Years and it was just good seeing them. My cousin showed me around "the big town of Olney" and I met a bunch of a girls and my cousin's best friend, Ethan (all you girls out there would probably think he's hot). His sister is 15 or so and is such a cutie... and his mom, omg, i thought she was 34? She's like 45 :) Haha.. ok anyway, I plan on going up to Olney again this next weekend for my friend Erin's wedding. I've known her awhile... although when I saw her this past weekend she seemed like she didnt wanna talk to me much =/ Kinda odd for someone who used to have a crush on me eh? Oh well, I wish her the best. Oh yeah and I get to see Emily this next weekend too!!!! WOooooo its going to be sooooo much fun! |
|
|
| Andi is 20 =o |
[May. 24th, 2004|12:25 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | My fan thats whizzing... Andi hates it | ] |
Andi's 20... so much for our ages being the same, damnit! Happy birthday babycakes! Technically here it's not your birthday anymore, but it still is over there, so ya whatever :p |
|
|
| Movie Night |
[May. 22nd, 2004|04:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Old School dvd movie menu music... Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo! | ] |
So last night was basically movie night... I arranged it so a bunch of people met at the movies and we all went to see Shrek 2. I think altogether there were about 15-20 people that showed up, and most of them said happy belated birthday to me... how sweet =x Anywho, the movie was good! I really enjoyed it, the ending was the best part imo.
A friend of mine just asked me to go see a movie with her, and i was like no? I mean I already went to see Shrek 2, and I dun wanna see it again the next day... then I said, well if we go to cleburne we can see it! Cause i figured, maybe I could meet Britt, since i promised her i'd go to cleburne and see her sometime. But then my friend got all pissy and hung up on me, but whats new :)
Soooo yaaaa, nothing else is going on... well besides the fact that it's Andi's birthday soon!!! I hope next year I can go see her or vice versa... and we can stay and celebrate both of our birthdays, that seems resonable... with mine being the 15th and hers the 23rd. We'll see I guess. OH OH, and my friend Emily is coming down from chicago soon!!!! It's going to be awwweeeeesome, I havent seen her in forever, and she said i could go back with her and all, but I have classes during that time =/ Soooo lame. |
|
|
| Val's on crack |
[May. 19th, 2004|12:18 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Thursday- War All The Time | ] |
Ya so i'm talking to val right now, and shes... crazy.. when you jinx with her she goes completely insane. Also, I called a friend earlier and she was sleeping, I woke her up :| Ya I felt bad, not good! Anywho, tomorrow I might go see Shrek 2! If anyone wants to come see it with me and friends... let me know, you know my number :)
SOooo now Val and I are talking about hairless indians? I dunno man.. she's talking about pink balls and blue balls... ? How cute :)
Oh ya and my dog peed on my bed the other day, that little fucker got EVERYTHING, my jeans on my bed, my comforter, all my bed sheets.. ya, stupid homo. Well I'm about get off the phone with Val, and she told me to turn off my Thursday music... PSH, forget her! Time to go now, i'll tell you if Shrek 2 was any good, but I bet it will be :) |
|
|
| A Bittersweetness |
[May. 16th, 2004|06:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Nirvana- The Man who Sold the World | ] |
So yesterday was my birthday, May 15th... I'm 19, but I don't feel it? My head is still spinning and in a sureal state from the fact I attended the funeral of my friend Koby. Yesterday was my day, but no, it was yours man.
P.S- My harddrive died on me yesterday.. or the day before, i forget. It kinda sucks, I lost everything on it... so if you ever sent me a picture or anything, it's gone.
P.P.S- I got andi's present, it cheered me up a bit- |
|
|
| I'm a Pirate |
[Apr. 24th, 2004|10:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Movie music | ] |
So last night I was planning on going to this concert for a bit, but it got rained out (was raining from about 4 yesterday to 8 in the morning here), so instead I went to this Lan party... which I was going to go to, just wanted to check out the concert though. Anywho, I went there and I ripped so many movies from this guys computer, it's so great :D I think I got... let's see... X Men, X2, Boondock Saints (good movie!), Ice Age, SWAT, 28 Days Later.. err well the list goes on and on as you can tell. Oh! I also got all the episodes of Tru Calling, gotta love my Eliza Dushku :P
Speaking of love, I'm eager to go to Canada sometime soon, I just don't know when? I have to fit in going to New Mexico and Chicago this summer too, some how... and get a job... Summer classes suck =( |
|
|
| Old Friends, New Lives |
[Apr. 9th, 2004|10:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Papa Roach - Hidden Track (best song on the fucking album) | ] |
Today I got this phone call, my old friend Brittany from my old hometown of Dripping Springs... YES, BEFORE YOU ASK, THERE ARE REALLY 'DRIPPING SPRINGS' IN DRIPPING SPRINGS! Don't diss my hometown's name.... ANDREA! :p
So anywho, she wants me to go visit her at Founder's Day. Which is the founding day of dripping springs, it's a huge carnival thing and people from Austin go there and it's just a really big deal there. I didn't go the past year, but the 7 or so years before that I went! My years I spent here in Stephenville, I would drive down there with a group of friends and have SO much fun. The stories I have about that place are so amazing, some of you should ask me about them sometime.
Ok getting off track, Brittany wants me to go since we've been friends for about 8-9 years and yet she just got out of the hospital. She had a wreck and totally fucked up her legs and arm, but as stubborn as she is, she got out a few weeks early to have fun on her birthday party... yep that's my Brittany alright. She has changed SO much. Before she was this quiet cute girl that was kinda shy at times but very lively once you got to know her. These days, she's the type of girl that calls me to tell me about her off and on addictions to drugs. Heh, I've always wondered how people's lives would be if I stayed there...
So now i'm in the process of asking some of my friends to go with me down to DS, and hopefully they'll go with me because it seems like it can be a lot of fun. We'll take a camcorder again and go crazy... the last video is insane, even shows a girl looking at me dead in the eye and asking me to basically hump her. This was a girl that i was friends with but i came back and they noticed "oh wow you've changed"... ya and what that means is, 'oh you used to be my friend, but someone i would never go out with, but now you got a lot cuter and i wanna hump you to be a skanky ho for the night!'
So what did I do? Me being me.... fucked her into submission! Ok no not really, I believe I had a girlfriend or wanted someone else at the time so my goody goody side turned on and I didnt do a damn thing besides talk to her a few more times that night, and get a few more offers *rolls eyes*.
Oh and on a side note, this made me smile:
Andi: i dont want you out of my life |
|
|
| I live by my choices |
[Apr. 8th, 2004|10:13 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box | ] |
So this is my first entry huh? Wow how exciting :) I've had this up for awhile but just nothing to write about I guess. Actually, probably more to write about before, but now I definately have nothing to write about :) Oh well i'll make the best of it.
So easter is coming up, yep that great holiday that we get a Friday off for, hurray. I need it to catch up on some homework =/ Yesterday while waiting in the hallway of the Humanities building with my friends Kelly and Tony, Scott walks up to us and starts talking. Funny thing is, in our graduating class there were only 10 people, so that was 40% of the class right there. Then, as if by fate, Loren (another member of our 'guild') came and noticed us, mentioning how freaky it is to have 50% of the class there. I laughed and told her that I have class with Amber (yet ANOTHER person) and we're going to have 60% there, and also that it was extremely sad. Sure enough, here comes Amber, apparently not skipping that day, and well... of course we just HAD to take a picture. It looked like our graduation, only more people were 'there' in the pic, because at graduation everyone was wasted beyond imagination besides a select few of us.
YEAH YEAH so I was one of those select few, and i'm a goody goody, so what? Who wants to get wasted at their graduation anyway? (so many people are going to be like, omg i did, whats he trying to say!? Answer-NOTHING, NO DRAMA PLZ) Ya I can just see it now, my grandma asking me why I have a hangover the next day :p.
Sooooo anyway, I must say, I feel bad because I was suppose to talk to Andi last night and I fell asleep =/ Not only her, but I was suppose to talk to my shawnie and I wanted to ask her about her track meet today, because her friend Becca is like the best high jumper in the state... and I wanted to go watch!!! Sigh oh well.
This is a long entry for the first one =/ better leave stuff for today or tomorrow lol... OH OH and I MUST say, Andi pandi... I love you so so much :)-
P.S- If you didn't really understand a lot of that, well I just woke up, SO FUCK OFF <333- |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
brokendownwalls's journal